Movie Snippets / June 5, 2019 by Joel Goodman

In January of 2019, I started keeping a spreadsheet to track the movies I watch. I assign a rating from 0 to 10 (with 5 being the average, or expected value) and write a little snippet with some quick opinions on the film in question. Here, I’ll post a few of those snippets at a time for your enjoyment.

Blood and Black Lace (1964)

7.95/10.0

The movie that invented the Giallo genre, black gloves and all. It also influenced every notable filmmaker (especially the Italian ones) for 50 years. Off-the-charts amazing photography and production design. Bava’s use of primary colors was way ahead of its time. What would Suspiria (1977) look like without Blood and Black Lace? Probably alot more like Suspiria (2018). Watch this movie however you can (it’s on Amazon Prime if you don’t want to buy the Blu Ray), but be prepared for a sub-optimal experience because a good transfer doesn't exist yet in the digital era. This movie is ready for a restoration.

Cameron Mitchell costars, which is hilarious.

Suspiria (1977)

8.50/10.0

Critics and bloggers are always referring to this movie with some variation on the phrase "candy-colored nightmare", which is understandable since it’s just about the most apt description of Suspiria that I can think of. Argento's best movie (or is that Deep Red?) stars Jessica Harper in a role that she passed up the title role in Annie Hall for. Pretty crazy, right? Just chew on that for a second. Anyhow, the murder scene that opens this film up is one of the most over-the-top, brutal things ever committed to celluloid and sets the tone for the best Italian horror flick of the late 70's. This film is an atmospheric horror classic that drips with style (which makes up for the fairly thin story) and it must be seen by all genre afficianados. The "remake" from 2018 is also very good but very different to the point that it's almost unrelated. Trivia: Suspiria is the last film to be shot on Technicolor.

Suspiria (2018)

8.70/10.0

This isn’t a remake at all, more like a retooling. It hits some of the same beats as the 1977 classic and keeps the same setting, but the story is much more thoroughly fleshed out and Suzie’s role is very different. Additionally, Argento’s flashy primary colors have been traded for muted earthy tones and the rock score is replaced with something more moody and traditional.

None of this is bad in the least, in fact it’s an altogether better film than the original. Is it as memorable? Will it become a classic in the same way Argento’s movie did? The answer to both of those questions is no. What I can say is that there’s nothing else quite like it. Maybe it’s the first art house occult horror movie? Either way, it’s a great film.

Movie Snippets / June 2, 2019 by Joel Goodman

Deadwood: The Movie (2019)

8.90/10.0

This marks the end of HBO's best series that isn't the Sopranos. Set ten years after the show's third and final season, this film ostensibly chronicles the assassination of Charlie Utter at the hands of George Hearst and all the drama that follows, but it's true raison d'être is to give us fans the closure we've been denied for the past 13 years. All the characters that were alive at the end of the show make an appearance and we get to see the conclusion to all of their stories. It lives up to the show's standard of excellence, but when the credits roll it's hard to shake the feeling that there should be another 10 or 11 episodes left to watch. Nevertheless, superb movie.

It (2017)

6.65/10.0

I recently watched this at home in my living room and it definitely wasn’t as fun as it was in the theater. That said, I must admit that this is a pretty entertaining flick, and much better than the TV miniseries from the 90s. "That scene" from the book was (mercifully) omitted. No really what I would call "high cinema", but it is never boring and the Swedish feller that plays Pennywise is really good.

The Dirt (2019)

3.30/10.0

Based on the book of the same name, which is an oral history of Mötley Crüe. When the book came out, everyone I knew made the trip down to Powell's Books to pick it up and it's all everyone talked about for weeks. Sadly, nobody will do the same for the adaptation. This movie sucks. It's got the worst acting I've seen so far in 2019, perhaps with the exception of Gotti but it gets pretty close. Netflix could have put more money into this movie and gotten a better script and better actors but they didn't and the product shows it. It's not even that entertaining. At least Gotti was entertaining.

Movie Snippets / May 26, 2019 by Joel Goodman

Gotti (2018)

2.50/10.0

Hoo boy, now this is a really bad movie. Like, unbelievably bad. Imagine a garbage truck, loaded to capacity with soiled adult diapers, that has been set on fire and whose brakes have failed. This is the cinematic equivalent of that. Everything about it is bad, but the acting and script are the worst of the year. It's verges on, and at times crosses over into "so bad it's good" territory. It feels at times that this movie might be a prank on all of us; that the possibility exists that this is some kind of postmodern masterpiece that is really laughing at us even as we laugh at it. A hard movie to rate; this is either a 2.5 or a 9.5. I'll go with the former.

Black Rain (1989)

4.95/10.0

Just look at the poster. Look at it.

Michael Douglas's mullet stars in a dated police thriller-cum-fish out of water movie that actually has some very impressive cinematography and neat set pieces, but whose story is contrived and performances are just about a shallow as they come. Andy Garcia is especially flat. I mean, you hardly notice he's even there before he's beheaded and his death motivates everything Michael Douglas and his mullet do in the last half of the movie. Cocaine was definitely involved in every step of the process during the making this film. Bookended by two very, very bad 80's radio rock jams.

Nightbreed (1990)

8.65/10.0

I get funny looks when I tell people that this is one of my favorite movies, but I really think this is an amazing film. It’s a deeply misunderstood dark fantasy/horror masterpiece that has never quite gotten the respect it deserves. This is the best thing Clive Barker has ever done and he'll probably never match it. The 90s being what they were, the studio reportedly demanded Barker include a real slasher-style villain (played by none other than David Cronenberg!) and cut the film by something like 30 minutes. As it turns out, the former was a blessing in disguise and the latter was only temporary, as a director's cut was released in the 2010's after floating around on VHS bootlegs for nearly 20 years. Both cuts are great (although the longer cut is better by a mile), and this movie is a must-see.